Chapter 25

All right, all right, all right!

Who's ready for a new chapter? I had to have some real life inspiration hit me before I could finish this chapter, but you, it worked. :)
We're nearing the end, are you ready?

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Sidney and I had been running around, stealing moments together in secluded corners of my dorm or the arena for the past few weeks. The Penguins had beaten the Capitals in 7 games, and now, they were playing Carolina. They pummeled them the first two games, and I had no doubt in my mind that they would sweep and with that sweep, be well on their way to the Stanley Cup Finals for the second year in a row.

Don’t tell Sidney this though. As soon as I brought up the possibility of a sweep, he silenced me and told me to not talk about it. He told me it was bad luck and that I shouldn’t even think about it. Sometimes I wanted to drop kick him across the house.

While Sidney was flourishing in the playoffs, I was working out and getting myself back into shape. My whole right leg seemed like a useless limb covered in flabby skin. Cellulite seemed to have taken residence there and refused to move, no matter how much I ran and how much I lifted. Sidney didn’t seem to mind as much as I did.

“Guess what,” I said to Sidney, lying on the hotel bed after game three of the Eastern Conference Finals. I was drawing cute little circles on his chest, my head on his arm, which acted as a pillow

“What?” he questioned softly, twirling a curl around his finger. I could tell he was tired, but I wanted to tell him what I had to say before he fell asleep.

“I’m playing in a tournament with the school at the end of June,” I said, craning myself around in his arms to look at his face. I wanted him to be ecstatic, but because of when I chose to tell him, I knew I couldn’t expect much more than a half-hearted nod and a smile. He was lying there, eyes closed looking almost like a perfect wax figure; so serene and at peace, while my mind was whirring like an overheated car. I settled back down into the crook of his arm, wishing he would show some more emotion, just to make me happy.

“Just thought you should know,” I whispered, draping my arm over his stomach. His hand found mine and he began to draw little figure eights in my palm. I knew he was excited, but just completely drained. I understood, so I lay there, as the figure eights in my palm came less and less until I heard a soft steady breathing under me.

“I love you,” I murmured, kissing his ear and lying down beside him.

“I love you too,” he suddenly said, rolling over towards me and pulling me as close as he possibly could. I loved the feel of his body against mine and I never wanted him to go. I wanted to stay like this forever. I slowly fell asleep in his arms, loving the place I was at.

-

I told him they’d sweep. I told Sid the Penguins would dominate the Hurricanes. Who was right? Oh, that’s right, me. You can only imagine how we celebrated together. They rest of the team went out and got drunk while Sidney and I shut ourselves up in his hotel room.

I could hear the guys coming back around 1 in the morning by the muffled yells coming from the hallway. I listened to them for about half an hour, looking at Sidney sleeping peacefully beside me the entire time. I kept running my hand through his hair, damp with sweat, expecting him to wake up at any second, but he never did.

I wanted to freeze time and step away. I wanted to look at what was happening at this exact point in time. As I thought, the voices outside our room shrank to the murmur of friendly conversation. The Penguins had just made it to the Stanley Cup Finals for the second year in a row. I was waiting for someone to come along and tell me it was all a dream; that I had been living in a dream the past month. That my knee wasn’t getting better, that the Penguins were still 1-8-1 in their last ten games and that Sidney was still a grouch and I was still scared to talk to him.

That never happened. I stayed where I was, firmly planted in the bed beside the one person I couldn’t care more about. I didn’t float away, and the lines of his face didn’t smudge and dissipate, disintegrating into the wind; that moment right before you wake up. Everything was tangible and I could touch him. Everything was tangible, and the Penguins were going to the Stanley Cup Finals. Everything was tangible and I was going to play basketball again. Everything seemed right, almost too good to be true.

-

The day after Game Four of the Conference Finals, the team and I flew back to Pittsburgh. They went back to practice while I went back to the athletic center, which also included the training room, where I’d make little stops in to talk to Todd about whatever was happening at the time whether it be about the Penguins or basketball; there was always something to talk about.

Life has little ways of always giving you reality checks, when everything seems too good. I walked into the training room, seemingly walking on clouds, only to see bare walls and Todd cleaning out the cabinets. My clouds instantly disappeared as what was happening hit me. Todd was leaving.

“You can’t leave,” I said, my mouth hanging open, my gym bag falling to the ground. “You just can’t…” I felt like part of my heart was being ripped out; he was my best friend, and he helped get me through my surgery. He was the one constant through it all, and now he was leaving.

“It’s a better job,” he said, shrugging his shoulders and continuing to pile up his things. “And it’s closer to my house. I never get to see my family, and this will let me do that.”

“I’ll miss you,” I said, trying not to cry. I really would miss him. He helped me so much. I felt tears spring to my eyes and I quickly wiped them away before he saw.

“Don’t worry,” he stated flatly. I could tell this was ripping him up as much as it was me. “You have my number, right? Call me if you need anything. Let me know if your knee bothers you.”

“Okay,” I stated. I felt numb to the world, and numb to what was happening. This wasn’t real. I walked over and gave him a hug; nothing special, just a hug. I smiled weakly at him before turning around and backing out of the door.

“I’m playing in a tournament with the team at the end of June,” I said leaning against the doorframe. “You should come,” I said, picking up my bags.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Todd said, with one last attempt at a smile.

I smiled in return and backed out of the little room, waving with the hand that wasn’t holding my keys. I started down the hallway, considering all of what just transpired. Todd was leaving. I would be on my own when it came to basketball.

The gym and its big solid glass wall came into view with its treadmills and ellipticals on the other side; overweight college students running at speeds far too fast for them, huffing and puffing. I put my things in a locker and walked out to the treadmills. Everything seemed surreal as I set my speed to 5 and began to run. It hit me hard when I thought about it; between Sidney being one win away from another chance at the cup and Todd leaving, I had a mixture of devastation and joy. I put those thoughts to the back of my head, concentrating on the lop-siding pounding of my feet as I ran.

The more I ran, the more the thoughts creeped back into my head. I couldn't keep them at bay. I thought about Todd leaving, and my feeling of abandonment. Then I thought about Sidney and how happy he made me. His face popped into my head and I immediately smiled. Hell, the thought of him winning the Stanley Cup made me want to skip on the treadmill instead of run. His happiness was my happiness; we were one, and he won out over Todd any day.