Chapter 17

The first week after surgery was an excruciating smudge on my memory. I was always one of those do it yourself people, and having to have someone else do everything for me was killer. Even though I was extremely grateful that Sid put his things on hold for me, it killed me to not be able to do anything.
My nauseous-ness didn’t cease for at least three days, so every time I got up and moved, I took a bag with me, preparing myself for the inevitable anesthesia induced vomiting. Everyday I’d feel just fine on the couch, eating and joking with Sid when he was home, but as soon as it came to getting up to go to the bathroom, my day would be ruined. I took to drinking very little fluids to keep myself from having to move.
The office chair was still my preferred choice of mobility seeing as my hip was sore from where they injected the blocking agents. Anytime I tried to raise my leg myself, I’d have to stop due to an immense amount of pain that would shoot up my hip and through my torso. It seemed as if everything but my knee hurt; my hand hurt from where they initially tried to put the IV, my hip hurt, and my head hurt.
-
Christmas was a dull blur due to an excessive amount of pain-killers I had taken the night before. The block had worn off on my knee in the middle of the night and I had woken up on the couch in tear-worthy pain.
“Sidney!” I screamed, even though he was asleep on the next couch over. He sat up and looked around before realizing it was me that had yelled.
“I’m here! What is it?!” he asked, right by my side within seconds. Tears were leaking out of my eyes by now.
“My knee hurts!” I wailed. “I need my pain-killers! Now!” He had moved them back into the kitchen because I hadn’t needed them, but at my words, he was sprinting into the kitchen, feverishly looking through the cabinet with his other medications. As soon as he found them he was back by my side unscrewing the cap. I was close to sobs by this point. The pain from my knee was radiating up and down my leg; it honestly felt like someone was trying to drive an ice pick under my knee cap.
“Here,” he said handing me a pill and a bottle of water.
“I’m going to need more than this,” I managed between the waves of pain.
“Here’s another,” he said without hesitation. I put both pills on my tongue, took a swig of water and swallowed before I had time to think about how big the pills were. He stood over me until the drugs kicked in and I felt myself getting woozy and finally drifting back off to sleep.
-
Exactly a week after my surgery, Sid drove me to my physical therapy appointment. I had yet to bend my knee and I was not looking forward to doing so. Sid walked me in and sat with me until they called me into a high-ceilinged room with multiple training tables, all with pillows.
“Don’t be nervous,” he said, picking up on the fact that I was practically shaking. “I’ll be in the car when you’re done.” He kissed my forehead before I crutched myself through the doors and over to a curtained off table where I was told Ken would see me shortly. Ken? What kind of a name is that? I’ve never met a Ken in my life. Like Malibu Barbie and Ken. I busied myself with picking at my hangnails that had gotten out of control the past week and staring around at the small area I was in. There was hand sanitizer on the wall to my right and a chair on my left. Just as I was beginning to inspect the ceiling and the array of lights, Ken walked into my little cubicle of cloth. He was relatively tall with short brown hair and a mulberry colored birthmark residing on one side of his neck. He wore wire glasses and had a serious air about him.
“Alright, so you had knee surgery when?” he asked, pulling up a rolling chair I failed to notice. I swallowed and took a breath.
“A week ago.”
“How’s it feel?” he asked, his seriousness abating a bit.
“Pretty good… I haven’t bent it, so I don’t really know. It feels fine just sitting here,” I rambled. I had to make myself shut up. Whenever I’m nervous, I ramble, and something about being there in such a tiny space with a not unattractive man, getting ready to do excruciating physical therapy, made me nervous. He just looked at me and laughed, all seriousness gone. It was then that I noticed the gold band on his left ring finger, and for some reason, that relieved some of the nervous energy I had.
“Alright, we’re going to start off with some simple things like heel slides and leg extensions,” he said, getting up and moving the curtain back to its original resting place against the wall. “Why’s that on your brace?” he asked, getting up and really looking at it for the first time.
“It’s a dish towel. The brace was hurting, so I put a dish towel to keep it from rubbing and chaffing. It looks dumb, I know, but it helps…” I trailed off. I was rambling again.
“I know what it is. I just had no idea why it was there,” he stated, with a small laugh. I just nodded in agreement. He assigned me my exercises and before I knew it, and with a minimal amount of pain, I was done and had my brace back on, ready to leave.
“I’ll see you in a few days,” Ken said as I crutched outside to where Sidney was waiting in the Range Rover. I still couldn’t get over the name Ken. I backed into the door leading outside to open it and made my way to the car. Snow was beginning to fall, and it just dawned on me that it was New Years Eve. The days had blurred together and I was losing track of time.
“It’s New Years Eve,” I said to Sidney as I got myself in the car.
“I know,” he said, kissing me quickly. “We’re going to have some fun.”
“Sid, I can barely move. I’m not going to have some awkward sex with you,” I snapped.
“I never said anything about sex,” he said grinning at me.
“Oh, well, what do you have in mind?” I asked him.
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he said and kissed me again before driving in the direction of his house.
-
Nothing really special jumped out at me when we got back to his house, other than the fact that I had practically moved in without having to lift a finger. Every time Melissa brought me something, she’d bring another change of clothes along with my iPod or whatever it was that I demanded.
“So what’s the surprise?” I asked him as I plopped myself down on his couch and arranged my foot up on a pillow.
“I have to make it first,” he said. “Don’t be so pushy.”
“Oh, so you’re making it…” I said with a neutral tone, trailing off, letting him draw his own conclusions as to what I meant by it. It could have meant multiple things, one of which: Gross. Whatever it is I don’t want it now. Another: Yippee! There’s nothing I enjoy more than something made by Sidney Crosby. Or even this: I’d rather choke on a spoon. He chose to think that I was insulting him, and he was right.
“Your attempt at pancakes wasn’t so good on Christmas,” I said, backing up my insult.
“I got Geno to help me this time,” he said defensively. “He’s a good cook.”
“So are you hiding him in a closet or something?” I asked jokingly, but when Sid’s face turned a bright fuchsia, I knew he wasn’t kidding. “Sidney Crosby!” I said with a smile. “You snuck a Russian hockey player in to help you make me dinner? That’s actually really sweet,” I said, my tone softening. “So where is he? I’ve never met him,” I said, but then realized that I probably looked like a mess.
“I’ll go get him,” Sid said, excited that I wasn’t mad at him. Even I couldn’t predict how my emotions and personality would be day-to-day, and it didn’t help that I had gotten my period a few days before. I was at the mercy of Mother Nature and the hormonal roller coaster I was now forced to ride. I would be happy to ride a roller coaster any day, but if it was accompanied by hormones, I’d have to pass. Sid came down the stairs with Evgeni Malkin in tow. It was then that I realized just how short Sid really was. Geno towered over Sid at six foot three, and Sid was, at best, 5’11”. I was normally on the more generous side of 5’10”, but I never thought anything of it since Sid and I are the same height, and I never felt the need to wear heels, so it never really mattered to me.
“I cook food,” were the first words out of Geno’s mouth when he saw me. He flashed his crooked grin and continued in his broken English. “Sid say he need help. I say I cook,” he said with a shrug.
“Thanks Geno. I really appreciate you helping Rachael Ray over here,” I said with a laugh. Sid just glared at me and Geno looked confused. “That’s a compliment to you Geno,” I said, and he smiled at me while Sid shot me another look.
“So, Geno, help me out here man,” Sid said, tearing his gaze away from mine. “I need help with this roast.”
“I cook,” was all I heard Geno say before I decided I needed a nap.
-
I awoke to the smell of cooking roast, not burning roast, around 6:00 and looked towards the kitchen to make sure I was in the right house. Then I remembered Sidney wasn’t really cooking. It was Geno’s work.
“How’re you boys doing in there?” I yelled in the general direction of the kitchen as I turned on the TV to get ready to watch the ball drop.
“Good!” a mixture of Sid and Geno’s voices yelled back at me.
“It smells good,” I remarked from my place on the couch.
“30 minutes more!” Geno yelled from the kitchen. I settled myself into the couch to wait out the 30 minutes until it was time for me to do my favorite activity: eat.

Chapter 16

Jess's Point of View
The first thing I did when I got to Sid’s house from the hospital was open the door of his Range Rover and puke. “Oh God,” I moaned to myself. Sid got out of the car and stepped over my puke to rub my back.
“Dr. Carr said that you’d be nauseous.”
“He could have warned me beforehand,” I said, anger and frustration filling my voice.
“Don’t worry,” Sid said, his voice washing over me and soothing my rigid body. “Now come on, sit up, let’s get you inside eh?”
“Can’t I just sit here?” I whined, sitting back in the seat.
“We have the couch all set up and everything inside, come on.”
“Fine.” I ran my hand over my mouth to wipe up any excess vomit on my face as Sid handed me my crutches. I grabbed my leg and swung it out the door to leg it clunk against the side of the Range Rover. Sidney grimaced as I stepped down with one foot onto the pavement. I got the crutches in place and attempted to get up his front walk, but couldn’t. My right leg just dragged along the ground, making it difficult to move forward. “Sid, I can’t do this,” I said, defeated.
“I can carry you,” he offered. I thought about it for a second, but that seemed too hard.
“Do you have like, a roll-y desk chair or something?” I asked, slightly dizzy from my attempts at movement, grabbing his mailbox for stability.
“Yeah, hold on.” He ran in the house and returned seconds later with a huge office chair. “Here, sit down and hold your leg up, I’ll push you inside.” He got me all the way up the walk to the stairs, where he had to stop for a break. “You know, you’re not light,” he said, and sat down on the steps.
“Imagine carrying me. Now get me in the house. I’m getting woozy,” I snapped. These meds did not have a nice side effect on my attitude. He seemed to be sympathetic to my needs because he picked himself up off of the steps and proceeded to drag me up them in the chair. We must have been a sight. Him pushing me in one of the biggest chairs I’ve ever seen in my life, and me holding my right leg out straight in front of me. Attractive. He managed to get me to the couch where I promptly collapsed and fell asleep courtesy of the medications that were still wearing off.
When I woke up it was around 7:00, there was a blanket draped on top of me and a note taped to my forehead. I pulled it off, dazed and confused. In a quick scrawl, it read:
Hey baby, I hope you’re OK. I had to leave for my game. The remote’s on your lap. I’m on FSN. I talked to Melissa and she agreed to be on call in case you need anything. I’ll be home around 11. Your pain meds are on the table near your head and your crutches are lying on the ground in front of the couch. There’s bottled water next to the pills.
-Sid
I looked around. Everything was exactly where he said it would be. The water and pills were on the end table. The crutches were on the floor, and the remote was in fact, in my lap. I taped the note onto the closest wall I could reach, to remind me that someone would always be looking out for me. My next move was to grab the remote and switch on the TV to FSN. The game was just starting. I made it through the first period before dozing off again to be woken up by Sid slamming the door.
“We lost,” he said upon throwing down his bag.
“How do you know I didn’t watch it?” I asked groggily.
“You look like you just woke up,” he said, coming over and sitting in the desk chair used as my means of transportation.
“Yeah, that could be a clue,” I managed before letting my head fall back onto the pillow. “I’m hungry…” I started, but he cut me off.
“Should you be eating? You threw up as soon as I got you home…”
“I feel fine. I’m really hungry!” I complained, putting as much emphasis on really as possible.
“Fine. Do you want apple sauce?” he asked, walking over to the kitchen and rummaging through the pantry.
“YES! That sounds amazing!” I said, rearranging my leg on the pillow it was propped up on. He grabbed the apple sauce and a spoon and brought it over to me. “Thanks,” I said, ripping the top off and shoveling it into my mouth.
“Slow down,” he said, leaning back in the desk chair. He looked extremely tired.
“So, how was your game,” I asked warily.
“Horrible,” he said, eyes closed, head back in the chair. I left it at that, not wanting him to blow up at me. For the past few days, he’s been blunt and to the point. There hasn’t been any joking or having fun, but then again, it was Sid. His lack of participation in extra curricular activities annoyed me sometimes and I found myself pressing him to go out and have fun.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I said suddenly, staring at him, and more importantly the chair. He opened his eyes and brought his head forward, but it took him a second to process what I needed him to do.
“Oh, OK, here, sit. I’ll push you,” he said, scrambling out of the chair. I butt-hopped my way into the chair with the help of my arms and he pushed me through the kitchen to the bathroom. About halfway there, I started to get extremely hot, my skin got clammy and my head began to spin, and I don’t think it was due to the medications.
“Sid,” I said, panic filling my voice.
“What?! What is it?” he asked, stopping my forward motion and coming around to look at my face which I could imagine was like a ghost. I had that horrible gut feeling and my lips began to tingle.
“Get me a bag,” I said, trying to keep my mouth closed.
“What?” he asked, clearly confused.
“A plastic bag. I need a bag,” I said as quickly as possible. He whipped one out of what seemed to me, his back pocket, and the second my hands opened it, I had my head in it and I was throwing up all the apple sauce I had just eaten. I hunched over myself, right leg straight out on the floor in front of me. I groaned and sat up. Sid was there with a wet paper towel to wipe my face. “Thanks,” I mumbled into the towel. He didn’t say anything about the fact that he told me not to eat the applesauce; he just took the towel out of my hands and pushed me the rest of the way to the bathroom.
“Can you do it yourself?” he asked, hovering beside me as I hopped on one foot into the bathroom using the doorframe and the bathroom counter as support.
“I think I’ve got it,” I said as I plopped myself down on the toilet, with my sweatpants still on. “I just need to figure out how to get these off…” I said, looking down at my legs before looking back up at Sid. His eyes were gleaming and I realized why he was so mopey the past few days.
“You’re mad because we won’t have sex for awhile,” I said matter-of-factly. His face burned a bright red and he looked at the floor.
“That’s not why…” he said, clearly embarrassed.
“Yes it is. We can’t do anything physical until I can walk,” I stated as I began to shimmy the sweatpants off.
“No! Well, that is playing a part,” he admitted. “We’ve been losing, and you and I can’t do anything, you know, fun, for awhile.” I had the sweatpants to mid-thigh by the time he was done talking and looked up at him for help. I decided to ignore the “fun” comment for now. “But I can always help you undress,” he said, his normal tone coming back.
“You’re so horrible. Just get my sweatpants off.”
“You got it,” he said and leaned in to kiss me. I pulled away from him and he stopped, puzzled.
“Are you forgetting I just puked in a trash bag?” I asked, slightly amused.
“Oh, I well… I’m tired,” he stated as he yanked my sweats down to my ankles, revealing a huge knee brace with a water bag underneath it to ice my knee.
“Oh God,” I moaned, taking in the contraption for the first time. “This doesn’t even look good! I look like I just had my whole leg repaired!”
“Don’t worry,” he said, repeating a phrase of mine I had been telling him lately. “You’ll get through this. I’m here for you.” He placed a kiss on my cheek before backing out of the bathroom and leaving me alone.
How was I going to manage this? I asked myself, still staring at the huge ominous brace that now resided on my leg.

Chapter 15

*I'm so sorry it took me so long to post an update. I had a basketball camp and work to take care of first. Sorry, but that's priority. Now, I feel like I'm on a role. Here's another chapter. :)

Jess's Point of View
The day of my surgery, I awoke to the smell of waffles and an empty, hungry stomach, but because I had to have general anesthesia, I couldn’t eat anything. All I could have was water, which didn’t really do much to ease the hunger pangs that were coming every few minutes. I rolled over in bed to see that Sid wasn’t there. I didn’t really want to go downstairs and be tempted by the food I could smell all the way up here, so I just laid there, wrapped up tightly in the blankets until around 10:00 when Sid came upstairs. He had cleared it with Therrien to miss their morning skate today so he could take me to the hospital. I watched him walk down the hallway towards his room, and I realized I wouldn’t be walking for quite some time. He wandered into the room, probably to see if I was awake yet, and upon discovering that I was, he crawled back into bed with me without a word. I felt his arms encompass my waist and pull me to him, creating one of the safest places I could ever be.
“It’s really happening today,” I whispered into his chest, the gravity of the situation finally hitting me. All his stress, everything he was worried about, suddenly made sense to me.
He didn’t say anything, but just stroked my back and placed kisses along my neck and shoulder to soothe me. I was still anxious and nervous, but just having him there created an altogether better atmosphere.
At 11:00, we left for the hospital. I held his hand the whole way there, my knuckles turning white from the pressure I was exerting. Words weren’t exchanged on the ride there; all he did was draw soothing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. I had a blanket wrapped around me, longing for the feeling of Sid’s arms in its place. When we got to the hospital, I got out of the car and just stood there, looking at the building, a knot building in the pit of my stomach.
“Jess?” Sid asked, coming around the front of the car to me.
“I can’t do it,” I said, anxiety ripping through my voice. I ran my hands through my already tangled hair and paced in a circle. “This-this is way too hard,” I stuttered. I began to feel light-headed and I had to lean against the Range Rover to steady myself. I bet it was from the lack of food. Sid took me in his arms, creating the feeling I wanted most, and said, “Jess, listen, we’ve been over this. You have to do this. You can do it. I promise you’ll be OK. I’ll be here with you every step of the way.” My head was buried in the crook of his shoulder and I could feel the tears coming on, running off the material of his windbreaker.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” I sniffled. “I can do this. I’ve got this.” I pulled myself together and wiped my eyes off, tightening the blanket around me, and walked into the hospital, with Sid’s arm around my waist. Once inside, I couldn’t sit still. I was walking around all the chairs they had set up in the waiting area, biting my nails, a habit I had long since stopped. Sid was at the reception desk talking to the women about how long my surgery would take and all the other essential details.
“Jess Spade?” A woman called when I was on my 5th lap around the chairs, a smile on her face. How the fuck could she be smiling? I asked myself. My stomach dropped and Sid led me through the door the woman was holding open for me, his right arm around my waist, and his left hand holding my own left hand out in front of me. I stood there in a daze until she directed me to the left, to a curtained-off room where she then told me to change into a hospital gown before leaving us there in the confines of this little room.
“Come on baby,” Sid said, picking up the bag that held the gown while I sat on the bed. I let him pull my shirt over my head and unclasp my bra as my hands deftly pulled my sweats off. I felt like I was undressing myself for my own funeral. There was such a sickly feeling in the air; I could feel it closing in on me, like it was trying to suffocate me. I finally got the gown on myself and was lying on the bed with Sid hovering over me, holding my hand, when the nurse came back. The first thing she did when she walked back into the room was hook up the heart monitor. To my surprise, my heart wasn’t racing like I thought it would be, it seemed to be beating pretty calmly.
“Now, I have to put the IV in,” she said, unwrapping what looked to be a very large needle.
“Oh God,” I said, trying to stay calm, but by looking at the heart monitor, anyone could tell I wasn’t. It looked like I was seizing, but really, I was just extremely scared.
“I need you to make a fist with your hand so I can find a vein,” the nurse, whose nametag read Julie, said. I squeezed my eyes shut, and made the fist, tears leaking out of my tightly shut eyes. I felt Sid’s hands on my face, wiping the tears away, and willing me to be brave. My breathing was coming quickly now as Julie pushed into the crook of my arm with the needle. I shuddered and opened my eyes, but as I did, I began to feel woozy.
“I’m going to give you the drugs now so you can relax,” she said.
“But, no. I want. Sidney, stay,” was all I could manage before my stomach dropped like I was on a roller coaster and everything went black.
-
Sidney’s Point of View
I sat by her until it was time for her surgery and the nurses threw me out. My stomach was doing flips in the waiting room, and I was making the same rounds she had before she went back. I was walking around those same chairs, biting my own nails. What if something goes wrong? What if they can’t fix her knee? All theses questions were flashing through my mind, and I couldn’t control them. They kept coming. What if she can’t walk again? What if she can’t play basketball anymore? I had to sit. I knew those weren't going to happen, but I couldn't keep myself from thinking them. I leaned over in the chair, my face in my hands, trying to calm myself down. I looked at the clock. 1:00; her surgery started at 12:00. The women had said the surgery took about 2 hours. Only one hour left.
-
Jess’s Point of View
When I came to, my doctor was standing over me.
“Did you fix my meniscus?” I asked, barely conscious. If he fixed it, that meant I was on crutches for 3 weeks, if not, only 1.
“I was able to fix your meniscus and your ACL,” he said, sympathy in his voice. I couldn’t keep myself awake any longer, and I succumbed to the blackness of morphine once again.
-
“Can you help her put her clothes and everything back on?” I heard a nurse ask when I resurfaced from the blackness.
“Yeah, I can do it,” I heard Sidney say. He sounded tired. I opened my eyes, and he was right there. I wanted to cry, sob, knowing that now was the hardest part of this whole ordeal.
“I can’t feel my leg. I can’t move it,” I said, the panic rising up my throat, constricting what voice I had left.
“They blocked your leg completely when you were out. They said the feeling would return in a few days,” he said as he took my clothes out of the bag the hospital gown was in hours ago. My stomach felt like someone was squeezing it, not a queasy feeling, but the feeling you get right before you cry. I squeezed my eyes as tight as possible, trying to keep myself from crying, and laid there as Sid got all of my clothes out. At one point, I had to help get the sweats on over the huge brace that was now occupying my right knee by actually, physically lifting my right leg myself; just grabbing it and pulling up to move it. I slipped the gown over my head and grabbed for my bra and T-shirt. Sid handed me the bra and slid the shirt over my head after I had the bra on. “Are you ready?” he asked, holding my hand for the first time in what seemed like ages. I nodded, even though I was still dizzy. I just wanted to go back to his house and relax. We planned that I wouldn’t stay in the dorm with Melissa because I would be too much trouble to have there in that small space.
How they got me out of the bed is still a mystery to me. I must have sat up and dragged my leg off the side of the bed because the next thing I knew I was being wheeled outside to Sid’s Range Rover that was conveniently parked right outside the door, and on my way to Sidney’s house, where, little did know, the worst was yet to come.

Chapter 14

Jess’s Point of View
My hair was a sweaty mess and I felt absolutely gross, but that didn’t take away from the fact that I had just had the best sex of my life. I was curled up against Sid, my head resting on his outstretched arm, pillows and blankets strewn around us like a bomb had just been dropped onto the bed.
“So what’re we getting for lunch?” I asked, my stomach growling to validate my question.
“You’re always hungry,” Sid said with a laugh. “Do you even realize we just had sex?”
“Of course I do,” I replied. “And now I’m realizing sex makes me hungry.” I rolled on top of him and kissed him softly.
“Everything makes you hungry,” he said into my mouth, kissing me back and running his hands along my bare back. “Just once more,” he growled softly into my ear.
“Feed me first,” I replied, resting my head on his chest.
“Mmm, how about a sandwich from Panera Bread?” he asked.
“That sounds like just what I need,” I said before rolling off of him and flitting into the bathroom to take a shower.
“Jess!” I could hear him behind me, mumbling and complaining about my leaving him alone in bed.
-
“This is probably the best sandwich I’ve ever had,” I said, my mouth full of the sandwich I was speaking of. Sid just looked at me and his eyes said, “You’re ridiculous.”
“You’re going to balloon up after your surgery,” he actually stated.
I swallowed the gob of food in my mouth and looked at him, shock on my face. “Sid, you know I don’t like to talk about it…” I said, putting my sandwich down.
“We have to talk about in Jess. Whether it be about your horrible eating habits, or what’s going to happen that day. Your surgery is less than a week away. We need a plan,” he said, suddenly sounding exhausted, running his hands over his face.
“Stop it. Can’t we talk about this later? Maybe when we get back to Pittsburgh?” I pleaded, a sad and somber feeling suddenly overcoming our conversation. The euphoria I was feeling moments ago due to the amazing sex I had just been apart of was gone and had been replaced by a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach like that of seasickness. “I just want to worry about now. Isn’t that what you said you liked about me? That I don’t worry about it?” I asked, reaching for his hands. “Now you, don’t worry about. Please? I’ll take care of it. All I need from you is some support and comfort.” That seemed to calm him down a little bit. This whole surgery seemed like the ebb and flow of the ocean: one minute I was having a breakdown, the next he was having a breakdown.
“I can do that,” he said, kissing my hand. “Can you do something for me now though?” he asked.
“What?”
“Finish that sandwich so we can go back to the room and take care of some unfinished business,” he said, a smile enveloping his face.
“Oh, I whatever could it be?” I asked, playing the role of the dumb blonde.
“Let’s just say that it involves you, and me, and no clothes,” he said, his eyes suddenly lighting up like a raging forest fire.
“In that case…” I said, getting up from my seat and dumping my food in the trash. “I can get something else later.”
-
That night, the Penguins beat the Thrashers 6-3 and Sid got an assist, so I could expect him to be in a good mood afterwards.
“Hey babe,” he said when he walked into the hotel room after the game. I hadn’t been in the mood to actually go to the arena after our fun-filled afternoon of staying in bed with him, so I hung around the hotel and watched it in the lobby.
“Oh, so now I’m a babe?” I asked playfully.
“Yes, you are,” he said softly before kissing my lips as I stood up to greet him.
“Mmm, you smell really good,” I said when I pulled away. “And, wait, did you use less gel in your hair?!” He looked away sheepishly.
“I know you don’t like all the gel, so I figured I’d try to do without it,” he explained.
“How sweet,” I said with a slight hint of sarcasm in my voice. He picked up on it and gave me a look before pulling me down onto the bed with him.
“You’ll pay for that,” he said, a devilish grin on his face.
-
Sid’s Point of View
Jess’s surgery was quickly approaching, and I was so apprehensive about it, it was driving me insane. On the other hand, Jess, as always, was her happy-go-lucky self and didn’t have a care in the world. Every time I started to get upset about it, she would calm me down and somehow, it would always work. I just couldn’t say no to her and her words. I lived from game to game, counting down how many more I had to play until her surgery. Anyone who didn’t know better would have thought that I was the one having surgery.
“Play amazing,” she said to me on the 20th, the day after we got back from Atlanta, and the day that we played the Maple Leafs at home.
“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” I asked for what seemed like the twentieth time.
“No. You go, have fun. I have to clean up my dorm anyway and Melissa has been getting mad at me for never being around anymore.”
“OK. I’ll call you after the game,” I said, kissing her quickly before getting into the Range Rover. She stood in the same spot watching me drive away, a smile on her face, before she turned around and walked back into her dorm.
-
When I walked into the locker room I was still thinking about Jess, and I guess it was written all over my face.
“Dude, stop thinking about her for one second,” Max said when I sat down in my stall.
“I can’t,” I stated honestly.
“Oh, so you, you know, love her?” Max prodded.
“I really like her,” I said, starting to get all my gear out.
“You should tell her,” Max said, all but yelling it across the room.
“When have you ever told a girl you love them?” I shot at him.
“True, true,” he said, shaking his head. “But if you do love her, you should tell her,” he finished, finally turning away from me to bother someone else.
-
Jess’s Point of View
“Hey,” I said to Melissa as I opened the door to our dorm.
“Hey, how’s Sid?” she asked, cleaning up a pile of books and papers in the corner of our room.
“He’s good.” I paused for a second thinking over what I was about to say. “I really like him Melissa,” I said quietly.
She looked up from the pile of crap and took in my face. She set down the books she was holding and stood up. “I know that look,” she said when she was at eye level. “You love him,” she said simply.
I shrugged, unsure of what to say to that. I knew that I really liked him. I knew there was something really special about him that kept me coming back, but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew that what I felt for him was extremely strong, but love? “Really?” I asked her, skeptical.
“That’s the same look you got when you were with Steven. You loved him didn’t you?”
“I guess…” I trailed off, letting her draw her own conclusions.
“Have you slept together yet?” I couldn’t control the blush I felt coming on. Her mouth gaped open and she practically yelled, “You have haven’t you!?”
“Yeah. When we were in Atlanta,” I said sheepishly.
“Girl, you’re in deep now. I know I’m not one to talk about sleeping with guys, but I can tell, you like him, and he likes you. He’s good for you. Just let this happen.” And with that, she resumed her organizing.
Melissa left me a lot to think about as I cleaned up my side of the room. I found a lot of interesting things as I was cleaning. Some things I had completely forgotten about, like my shirt that I had bought years ago at Old Navy that said Crosby St. Gallery on it. It was old and ratty, but I decided that the next time Sid and I went out, I’d wear it and see what his reaction was. “Don’t wear that piece of shit!” Melissa yelled when I showed it to her. If his reaction was anything like Melissa’s, I’d be in trouble and would most likely be given a new shirt, which would most likely lead to a make-out session, which would then most likely lead to a quickie in the storage room. I made a mental note to wear it on every date if that happened to be the scenario that played out. By the time I was done cleaning, the question of whether I loved him or not was not the most prominent thing on my mind. I made another mental note to clean whenever I had a problem.
-
The Penguins lost to the Maple Leafs, one of the worst teams in the NHL, 7-3. Needless to say, I was not looking forward to Sid’s call, if I even got one. I wasn’t getting my hopes up, but around midnight, my phone went off to NeverShoutNever.
My heart was racing. My mind was screaming, “You’ve got, your whole life to do these things.” My legs were shaking, my hands, were searching for her, in the backseat of my car. I just lost time. And I can’t believe it.
I let it play through once before answering it because one, I didn’t want to hear him yell at me, and two, I really like that song.
“Hello?” I asked timidly into my phone.
“I’m coming to get you,” he said, frustration filling his voice.
“Am I allowed to ask why?” I said without even thinking about it.
“I need to talk to someone. I need you with me right now,” he said, and for once, I felt like he needed my help, not the other way around.
“OK, I’ll be ready,” I said before hanging up.
He was there in less than 10 minutes. I was standing in the lobby watching for his familiar car to pull into the parking lot along with about 5 other people who had realized that when I walked downstairs, Sidney would show up sooner or later. When he pulled in, I was out the door and down the steps, standing by his car as he pulled to an abrupt halt.
“If you drive like that all the way back to your house, I’m leaving now,” I said as I got in the car and fastened my seatbelt. He just snorted at me and pulled out of the parking lot. I was waiting for him to blow up, and a little ways down the street, he did.
“We’ve been playing like shit,” he said, eyes fixed on the road.
“You just beat Atlanta,” I said, trying to help.
“We’ve only won 2 out of our last 6 games Jess!” he yelled. “We can’t even beat the Goddamn Maple Leafs.”
“You’re just in a slump. You’ll come out of it,” I said encouragingly, trying to put my hand on his arm, but he jerked it away.
“What if we don’t?!” he yelled. “How are we going to get back to the cup?” he said, sounding defeated as we finally pulled up to his house. “Hos, Bugsy, they’re all gone. All of them. We’re a more depleted, pathetic version of what we were last year.”
“Hey,” I said, putting my hand on his, this time he let me. “You’ll be alright. You’re 21 years old. You can barely drink, and all you’re thinking about is the cup. You have 20 more years to worry about it.”
“I have to do this…” he trailed off and unbuckled his seatbelt, but stayed in his seat.
“What are you trying to prove?” I said, my temper suddenly flaring up at how selfish he was being. “That you’re Sidney fucking Crosby? We all know you’re amazing.” I paused. “I know you’re amazing. And really, since when do you care what other people think?”
He looked down at his hands that were in his lap, and then looked up at me. “You’re right. I need to calm down. I just, you’re surgery’s coming up, and we’re not doing well, and I’m just stressed. I’m sorry,” he said and leaned over to kiss me. I smiled into his lips.
“Thank you for coming over to the “happy” side,” I joked as we got out of the car. “You really need to lighten up.”
“Oh really?” he questioned as he unlocked the door.
“Yes, really,” I said, walking over the threshold and down the hall into his living room. He followed me, minus his dress coat, and now sporting a loose tie. I felt his hands slip my arms out of the jacket I was wearing. He threw it over the back of a nearby chair and then slid his hands around my waist, pulling me to him.
“I think I’ve got the perfect way to unwind, right here in front of me,” he whispered against my neck.
“Well show me,” I said as we tumbled down onto the couch.

Chapter 13

Jess’s Point of View
The few days we had left before leaving for Atlanta were spent driving around Southern Virginia. We went down to Virginia Beach and wandered along the deserted boardwalk, just enjoying each others company, chasing the seagulls, and scaring the ghost crabs that came out when it began to get dark. The next day was spent in Williamsburg, wandering through the colonial houses, many of which were haunted, and fighting the chill that was constantly trying to break through our coats. That place was so magical, with all the old houses and cute gardens, the wind whipping my hair around. At one point, Sid had said, “I love being here with you. You know I’ll never leave you, but Jess, don’t ever leave me.” And then kissed me deeply and passionately right there in front of the Governor’s Palace on the lawn. Many people passing by whistled, but I didn’t care. All that mattered was Sid, and how close we were to saying those three little, so carelessly thrown about, words that meant so much.
-
On the 17th, our flight left relatively early; around 9:00 in the morning, but with airport security and all that nonsense, we had to wake up around 6:00 and be there by 7:00.
“Bye Mommy,” I said, hugging her close. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
“Bye Jess, be good, and please, be careful,” she said, her eyebrows wrinkling a little with worry. Mitch was next in line for a goodbye.
“I’ll talk to you later Mitch. Text me if any girls get on your nerves,” I said with a smile as he enveloped me in a hug. My dad was last in the procession. Sid was taking everything out to the car while exchanges were being made and I could see him coming back up the front walk.
“Daddy, thank you for everything you’ve done,” I said, hugging him, my head against his chest.
“Bye Sweetie,” he said, and then to Sid as he walked in the door, “Take care of her.”
Sid nodded, a smile dancing on his lips, and took my hand. “I loved seeing everyone! Have a nice Christmas. I’ll miss you,” I said with a smile, and I could feel my eyes welling up. This would be my first Christmas away from them, and just the thought made me sad. I couldn’t stand to be there anymore, I had to leave then, before the waterworks started.
-
Sid and I boarded the plane at exactly 9:00. We had to make a detour when I got hungry and wanted something else to eat, and then again when I decided I should go to the bathroom one last time before getting on the plane. I hated public bathrooms, especially when they were flying through the air at hundreds of miles per hour.
“You two just barely made it!” said a hostess with a stiff smile glued to her face and perfectly coifed hair. When I looked at her I pictured Airplane Barbie from Toy Story 2.
I just looked at her and tried to keep myself from laughing. I would hate to have her job. We found our seats in the business class as the engines started up. Sid started talking about what we would do when we got to Atlanta, but really, I didn’t want to plan anything. I’m more of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type, and making plans just wasn’t my style. His words eventually put me to sleep, and he was left to create his own form of entertainment.
After what seemed like minutes, I felt a strong hand on my shoulder shaking me awake, and a cute Canadian voice telling me it was time to get up.
“Are we there already?” I asked groggily while simultaneously wiping the drool off of my chin with a napkin Sid handed me.
“You know, you’re really cute when you sleep,” Sid said, a devilish grin on his face, his voice dripping with sarcasm. I of all people knew how ugly I look when I sleep: mouth wide open, and drool spilling out of my mouth in what could be compared to a waterfall.
“Oh shut up,” I snapped. “You didn’t take pictures of me did you!?” It was a hobby of all of my friends whenever I fell asleep in class.
Sid genuinely had a good laugh at that one. “No, I didn’t,” he said, still giggling that cute, endearing laugh of his. I had to smile.
“OK, well, if you didn’t take pictures of me this whole time, what did you do?” I asked. After all, I was asleep the whole time.
“Oh, I just played my PSP,” he said, embarrassment mixed in his voice. I looked up at him from where I was leaning over to get my bag out from under my seat, and just stared at him.
“Mitch plays PSP,” was all I said with a straight face. For a second, I knew he couldn’t tell if I was being serious or playing around, but once I smiled at him, he knew I was only joking, and his face crinkled up into a smile of its own. “You think I care if you play some videogame?” I asked.
“Well, I wasn’t sure for a second,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
“I honestly don’t care what you do, as long as you’re here with me,” I said with a smile as I stood up in my seat, stretching my arms and shaking out my bad knee. Sid stood up with me and kissed me on the cheek.
“I’ll follow you anywhere,” he whispered in my ear before pulling away. “Drool and all,” he joked as he got his bag down out of the overhead carrier.
“That’s so not funny!” I said with a laugh, and punched him lightly in the arm. He feigned injury and said, “I still like you, don’t worry, even if you did just cripple me for good.”
“So now I really know what all those other players mean when they say you whine,” I said, forming my lips into an “o” to emphasize the insult I’d just dealt him.
He put his hand to his chest and said, “That was a blow to my self-esteem.”
“Suck it up,” I said with a smile as we began to file out of the plane.
We wandered down to the baggage claim, hand in hand, still bantering back and forth. We got our bags without any trouble and Sid, once again, had to rent the biggest possible SUV, even though we wouldn’t need the car long; his teammates were meeting us later that day when they arrived in the city. We finally got out of the airport and were on our way to the hotel after Sid signed about 80 autographs.
“Turn here!” I yelled, laughing at the same time. I had realized that Sid was horrible with directions, and I wasn’t much better. “Turn right!”
“No! It’s the next one! I’m sure of it!” he yelled back.
“I’ll bet you,” I said, a smile on my face.
“You’re on. What’re the stakes?” he asked, taking his eyes off of the road for a second to look at me.
“Winner has the loser do an act of their choice,” I said, a smile creeping across my lips. “Kind of like a dare.”
Turns out, he was right. We had to turn left at the next street up and come back at the hotel because of all the one way streets. “Well Mr. Crosby, I think you’ve just earned your merit badge in navigation,” I said as we pulled up to the hotel. He just smirked at me, probably coming up with some sort of torturous thing for me to do later, and jumped down out of his seat when we came to a stop. I walked around the back of the SUV and asked, “So, what are we doing now?”
“Well, first, we need a room. Then I need to decide what you’ll do for me, and then we can go get lunch. How does that sound?” he said with a laugh and his signature grin.
“Fine, but I’m not doing anything ridiculous Sid. Nothing involving me naked in public…” I replied, giving him a quick kiss on the lips. His lips were lingering on mine, and his hand had moved to my belt loop, pulling me towards him. I let him deepen the kiss, but when he set down the bag he was holding to have another free hand, I pulled away. He let out a soft growl.
“Jess…” he whined like a little kid.
“We’re standing outside a hotel in a city I’ve never been to. Try and behave yourself,” I said with a playful tone, tugging slightly on the shirt he was wearing, and putting it back into place. “It’ll happen, and don’t forget I’ll do anything you want.” I was getting in deep now and I knew it.
We wandered into the elaborately decorated hotel lobby and checked ourselves in, saying we were with the Pittsburgh Penguins. The girl behind the desk looked a bit skeptical.
“What’s your name?” she asked Sid. I guess they had a list of people who were on the team.
“Sidney Crosby,” he said in a hushed tone, probably to keep from drawing attention to himself. The girl’s eyes widened and she flushed a light pink, probably from the embarrassment of not recognizing him, but Sid didn’t seem to mind. He actually looked quite amused. Her eyes flashed to me and back to Sid. “She’s with me,” Sid said, wrapping his arm around my waist and twining his fingers in a belt loop, bringing me to his side. He placed a kiss on my temple and the girl blushed even more.
“I’m so sorry Mr. Crosby,” she apologized.
“It’s not a problem,” Sid said as he signed for something.
“Really, it’s my mistake.” She apologized profusely for the next two minutes until we had our key in hand and were walking away. I could still here her behind us, muttering to herself.
“So where’s our room?” I asked, curious.
“Uh, 817? The guys’ rooms should be near ours,” he said as we walked down the hallway on the 8th floor until we reached 817. Sid opened the door to an extravagantly decorated living room. Off on the side was another room with one of the biggest beds I had ever seen in my life, topped with pillows and down blankets. I squealed like a little girl and ran and jumped onto it, face first, pillows flying everywhere. Sid laughed and set the bags down before joining me on the bed, minus the jumping. I had turned myself over and was on my back now, laughing hysterically, looking up at the canopy above the bed. We sunk down into the softness of the bed, pillows and blankets billowing up around us. Sid was laughing now, watching me as I rolled around in all the pillows and blankets like a four year old hopped up on cake and ice cream.
-
Sid’s Point of View
“I love your laugh,” I said, kissing her when she had calmed down enough to lay flat on her back.
“Mmm, I love your lips,” she said into my mouth before I silenced her words seconds later with another kiss. “What else do you like about me?” she suddenly asked, curious, pulling herself away from me and sitting up amongst with the abundance of pillows.
I let out a soft moa, but obliged to her request. “Well, I like your wildly crazy hair,” I said, putting my hand to her face. “And that smile you’ve got going right now has got to be one of the best I’ve seen, besides Flower’s that is,” I joked. “And your courage,” I continued, serious. “Your courage is absolutely staggering. You’re having this surgery, but that doesn’t even seem to bother you. You’re here, with me, rolling around in a bed full of pillows instead of moping around about what could happen. You just take life as it comes, for good or bad, and that’s what I like about you,” I finished, pulling at a feather that was sticking out of a pillow. When I looked up at her, her eyes were burning and the next thing I knew, she was on top of me.
-
Jess’s Point of View
I leaned forward, towards him, and kissed him passionately. He deepened the kiss to the point where I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I pulled away only long enough to take a breath before I dove back into him, my hands under his shirt, wandering over his abs. His hands were searching my body, roaming from my breasts to my butt. When they reached the hem of my shirt, he pulled it up and over my head, revealing my bra. I, in turn, pulled his shirt over his head, and began to place kisses on his torso. His mouth was on my neck, but his hands were fumbling with the button of my jeans. He got them undone and was sliding them off, when I put my hand on his, keeping him from pulling them all the way off.
He looked at me with those deep hazel eyes filled with desire, and whispered, “Jess, I dare you.”

Chapter 12

Jess’s Point of View
I opened the front door to my house and walked over the threshold, down the hall and into the kitchen where my dad was sitting at our little table reading the sports section in the newspaper.
“Where’s Mommy?” I asked.
“I think she went for a walk or something, why?”
“Because we-I have to talk to her,” I stated blankly.
“Oh, don’t worry, I talked to her about you two,” he said, nodding at Sid who was standing behind me. “I convinced her that you really do need someone to help you through this. Jess, I’m so sorry we won’t be there for you. You have no clue how much this is killing me. I feel horrible,” he said, his voice filled with sadness.
“It’s fine. I’ll be fine, but you’re sure she’s OK with Sid and me being together and everything? Because that’s my main concern,” I said anxiously.
“Sweetie, she supports your decisions, even if it seems like she doesn’t. We’re behind you, whatever you choose to do,” he said with a small smile.
“Thank you Daddy! I just wanted Mommy to be OK with us. I want her to like Sid,” I said, grabbing his hand. “I want her to see that he’s good for me.”
A sad look crossed my dad’s face, and I think he realized how far I had fallen for Sid, and knowing that, he knew that I was slowly slipping away from him. I was no longer Daddy’s Little Girl.
“Sir, I promise, I’ll take care of Jess after her surgery. I’ll help her through it. Rest assured,” Sid chimed in. His arm was around my waist, and I was beaming at my dad who nodded and said, “I’m sure you’re more than capable. I don’t want any harm to come to my daughter. I’m relying on you to help her through this.”
“I’ll do my best,” Sid said with a loving tone in his voice and a kiss on my temple, and right then and there, I knew that everything would be OK.
-
Sid’s Point of View
After we had lunch and sorted everything out with Jess’s dad, we ended up driving down to Yorktown Beach, a major hangout spot according to Jess.
“There’s this place, called Crawford Road near here, and everyone says that it’s really haunted at night,” Jess said. “I’ve never been. I’m way too scared to go anywhere near it.”
“Is it really that bad?” I asked, an idea creeping into my head.
“It’s what I’ve always heard. Apparently the Ku Klux Klan used to hang people off of the bridge that Crawford Road goes over.” she replied as we got out of the SUV, and fighting the cold wind and mist from the water, walked over to a cluster of shops, all with weird names, like The Yorktown Onion. We wandered through each and every one of them, some with better things than others, and ended up in a little coffee shop called Aromas around 4.
“I actually really like it down here,” Jess said once we sat down and got our coffee. “This is one of the better places around here. It’s really nice in the summer.” She took a sip of her coffee and settled further into the cushioned armchair she was occupying.
“Like I said earlier, I like it here in general, but there is possibly one thing I like better…” I said leaning towards her over the coffee table between us. She leaned forward out of her comfort and met me for a kiss halfway. Our lips lingered and I tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear, still inches apart.
“I like you,” I whispered.
“I like you more,” she said, her competitive side coming out, and a smile spreading across her face as we settled back into our respective chairs.
-
We talked about everything for the next hour, from what could be happening back in Pittsburgh, to why it was so cold this winter. It was beginning to get dark outside, so we decided that it would be best to head home to the newly reconciled atmosphere. We wandered out the door and into the biting wind and mist, our hands intertwined, exposed to the cold, but warmed by each others grip. As soon as we got in the car, Jess kissed my cheek quickly before sitting back in her seat. “What was that for?” I inquired, a little confused.
“For being here with me here,” she said, gesturing around her head wildly. “I appreciate it.” A smile was creeping across her lips now, and I leaned over to kiss them. I could feel her smiling into my lips as she kissed me back.
“You’re beautiful,” I whispered as we parted. Her smile grew even more and she blushed a cute shade of pink as I backed the SUV out of the parking space and headed towards the hill we came in on. About halfway up the hill I asked, “So where’s this Crawford Road you were talking about?
“It’s up here on the left,” she said nonchalantly while looking around the window twirling a curl around her finger, but once she really realized what I asked, her head snapped around to look at me and she said, “Don’t you do it Sidney Crosby. I know what you’re thinking.”
“Oh, come on Jess! It’ll be fun,” I said with a smirk as we neared the turn. I was going to turn regardless.
“No Sid! I’m so scared of all these things!”
“I’ll comfort you if you get scared,” I said, turning onto the street. She seemed to perk up at this.
“Oh? And how would you go about doing that?” she asked, curiosity replacing the fear that was there seconds ago. I pulled down the street a little ways and parked the SUV.
“Let’s get out,” I said, opening up my door and stepping out into the darkness. I had to admit, it was kind of creepy. Jess hesitated for a second, but then opened her door and ran around the SUV to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
“Oh, God, something just moved in the bushes!” Jess yelled, hugging me even tighter.
“It’s OK, don’t worry, nothing can hurt you. I’m here,” I said, hoping that would calm her down.
“Sid, you’re too good to me,” she said, giving me a kiss on the cheek before getting spooked by a noise in the trees and jumping between me and SUV.
“Oh God, oh God, oh God.” She was backed up against the car now like a deer caught in the headlights. I realized that if she was this scared of a made up story, she’d be even more scared of her surgery. I turned around to face her, and it was as if she knew what I was thinking.
“Jess, baby, come on, don’t be scared,” I said, brushing the hair out of her eyes and resting my hand on the side of her face.
“How am I going to have surgery?!” she wailed. “I can’t even deal with some road that’s supposedly haunted!” She looked like she was on the verge of tears.
“Come here,” I said, and pulled her into my chest. “You’re going to have to face your fears eventually. Better sooner than later, eh? Let’s start with this road. Now tell me, what’s so scary about a bird in a tree? Or a mouse in the bushes?”
“Nothing...” she said, her mouth near my ear.
“Exactly. Nothing is truly scary if you think about it logically,” I stated. “Now, what’s so scary about surgery; surgery that’s going to allow you to play basketball again.” I asked, hoping this would help her overcome her fears.
“I really want to play again, but I’ve never had surgery before in my life. Surgery’s scary,” she whispered in my ear, her voice constricting. She paused for a few moments then said, “I can do it though. It has to be done.” Her voice was coming back to its full strength now. “I can do this. Thank you Sid, you make me…” she paused searching for the right words. “You make me so happy, and safe, and I feel like I can do anything if you’re there with me. I just-“ I cut her off with my mouth against hers.
“Don’t ruin it,” I said when I pulled away. “I know how you feel. I feel it too. You do so many things to me that I don’t understand,” I said before kissing her again.
-
Jess’s Point of View
With those last words of his, all of my fears melted away into a puddle on the ground. I felt so much better with him there. We stood in that embrace, my arms wrapped around his waist, his stroking my back, for awhile more before getting back into the car and driving home. Words weren’t needed for what we had just created between us: a bond that, hopefully, could never be broken; an understanding.
I wandered down the hallway to the kitchen when we finally made it home, Sid behind me. My mom was cooking something over the stove, but by the look of things, dinner was almost ready.
“How was the beach?” my mom asked, throwing me off guard.
“Oh, it was fun. I showed Sid that haunted road up there. I freaked,” I said with a small smile, a little skepticism peppering my voice. I glanced over at my dad to see if he was witnessing this as well, he just grinned warmly at me, and I realized this was his doing. He must have convinced her to let me be; that I could make my own decisions. Part of me was elated, but the other part was desperately seeking her approval.
-
There was no shouting match over the mashed potatoes during dinner, so that was a good thing, and my mom seemed to be trying to accept Sid. With a forced smile, she asked him things like, ‘Where are you from?’. General cookie cutter questions like that. My dad and Mitch genuinely seemed interested in getting to know Sid, but my mom just sat there saying the bare minimum, with a smile plastered on her face the whole time, attempting what seemed like the impossible to her: accepting that I had found someone good for me.
Over the dishwasher later that night, while Sid was in the other room with Mitch playing NHL 09 or Rockband, I said, “Mommy, thank you for being nice to Sid. I really care about him.”
She smiled back at me in response and said, “Well, your father told me that I should back your decisions. I don’t have anything against Sidney personally, just the fact that you could be making a huge mistake.” Then after a pause she continued, “But I’ll let you find that out on your own. I won’t interfere with your relationship. He genuinely seems to really like you. The look he gets in his eyes when he looks at you…” she trailed off, remembering what it must have been like when she was young. “And to offer to take care of you after your surgery… Steven never would have done that. Anyway, I really do hope this works out for you, and just know, I’ll always be here for you,” she finished with a smile.
I was tearing up by now, knowing that I really did have her support. She actually wanted this to work. Of course she does. She doesn’t want to see this fail like your last relationship. “Thank you Mommy. Thank you so much,” I said as I hugged her tight. “This means so much to me.”
“Just be careful with your heart,” she said, a small, sad smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. She too, realized that I was floating away from her and towards Sid. She realized that I wasn’t a little girl anymore and that she couldn’t just kiss my boo-boos and make them better when I was hurting. She couldn’t fix my broken heart before, and now, she had to let me make my own decisions about who I should be with.

Chapter 11

Jess’s Point of View
The next day, I woke up to see Sid’s peaceful face inches from mine, and for a minute, I couldn’t remember how I had gotten there. After a few seconds it all came rushing back to me; the painful memories, my crawling into his bed and Sid’s promise to never leave me. I then realized that if my parents found me in bed with my “sort-of” boyfriend, I’d be in trouble. I whipped my head around to look at the clock hanging on the wall: 8:30. My parents wouldn’t be up for awhile, but despite the fact that I never wanted to leave his arms, I figured I’d be on the safe side and go back to my room. I attempted to ease myself out of his arms, but when I had almost freed myself, his grip tightened and I saw his eyes open. “Jess, come back to bed,” he moaned. “Please.” I took in his muscular arms, lean chest and pleading eyes before I gave in and rested myself on his chest. He sighed contentedly and wrapped his arms around me, our bodies melding together. “I’ll never leave you Jess,” he whispered in my ear, his eyes closing, repeating the words from last night. I kissed his chest, and I closed my eyes for what seemed like 5 minutes, but when I opened them again, it was 9:30, and Mitch was standing in the doorway, his mouth open.
“Jess, what are you doing?! Mom and dad are up, so I suggest you get out of there, and quickly.” I didn’t even think twice as I bolted out of Sid’s arms, past Mitch, and into my room, throwing back the blankets and getting underneath them, waiting and listening for my parents to come out of their room. All I heard was Mitch walking down the stairs, but then I heard them walking down the hallway towards my room. I sat up in bed, pretending to have just woken up. My mom poked her head in and said, “Good morning! Daddy’s going to make waffles this morning.” I just nodded, my eyes half-closed, knowing that once Sid and I got downstairs, we’d have questions to face. Her cheerfulness was just an act; I knew it. She walked downstairs and I was close behind her. “So I was thinking I’d show Sid my high school and everything today,” I said quickly as soon as we reached the bottom of the stairs. Surprisingly enough, my dad answered, “Sure, that sounds like a great idea!” He was in full-on chef mode by now. Making waffles was no easy task in our family. My mom on the other hand said, “Well, I don’t know if you spending so much time with him is a good thing.
“Mommy, we came down here together. He has nothing else to do but be with me,” I said over-defensively.
“That’s what I mean Jess! I can see it! You’re going to get hurt again. You’re devoting yourself to him. What about you? You’re throwing-“ I cut her off there. I knew what she was going to say, and I didn’t want to hear it.
“Did I tell you guys that instead of you two going up there to Pittsburgh and helping me through my surgery, Sid’s going to take care of me? Since you two couldn’t take time out to help me with one of the hardest things I will ever have to do, I needed someone else. Happy?,” It felt like venom on my tongue as I said it, and I knew my parents wouldn’t be happy with it. I was purposefully trying to make them feel bad. Their reaction was totally different than what I expected.
“Sweetie, you have Melissa,” my dad said, struggling to come up with an excuse for why he wasn’t there for me.
“You think that’s enough? You think having Melissa, who isn’t even home half the time, is the equivalent to having your parents with you? I don’t think so. I need more than that, I deserve more than that.” With that, my final blow, I stalked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to the guest room where Sid was still in bed.
“Were you yelling?” he asked sleepily as he sat up in the bed.
“Yes. Get dressed. We’re going out for breakfast,” I snapped.
“But I heard your mom say we’re having waffles,” he whined, now fully awake.
“Do you want her to spit in your food? I just completely blew up at her. She says I’m spending too much time with you. Then I accused them of not being there for me during this surgery.” Sid’s mouth was hanging open as he listened to me jump from one thing to the next.
“Let’s go to out,” he said quickly, clearly not comfortable with the situation I had just put him in. He jumped off of the bed and started getting dressed. I walked back into my room after kissing him quickly and pulled on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. I walked out of my room to see him ready, keys in hand, wearing a Reebok zip up sweatshirt, Reebok hat and a decent pair of jeans. I stomped down the stairs, Sid behind me, and walked out the front door and into the biting cold without a word to my or from my parents.
-
Sid’s Point of View
“Maybe we should get our own place to stay for the next few days,” I offered as soon as we got in the SUV. I could tell Jess was thinking it over, but her answer surprised me.
“No. My dad really likes you, it’s my mom that’s being a bitch about us. I think we’ll be alright. Mitch is there and so is my dad. They’ll placate her.”
“OK. I’ll trust your judgment on this one. You know them better than me,” I said and leaned over to kiss her before pulling out onto the main street near her neighborhood.
We ended up at an iHop not 10 minutes away. “So I’m thinking I’ll show you my old high school and you can meet my coaches and everything today. Sound good?” Jess asked over our pancakes and waffles, her bad mood gone.
“Yeah, I’d love to meet them. I want to know where you came from Jess, and so far, I can see you growing up here. I can picture you here.”
“It’s OK. It’s definitely not the best place to be. I mean, go down the street that way,” she gestured out the window, “10 minutes and you’re in the ghetto.”
“This part is nice. I like it,” I said. Jess glanced up at the clock resting on the wall; it read 11:30.
“So, do you want to meet my old coaches or what? They’re probably having practice right now,” she said beaming at me.
“Anything you want,” I said and leaned across the table to kiss her.
We got up out of our chairs and headed in the direction of her high school. About half way there, she grew quiet, and I had to ask. “What’s wrong?” I thought that it would have something to do with her knee, and I was right.
“What will they say? My coach expected me to dominate in college. How am I going to tell her I’m done this season?” she looked at me, worry filling her face.
“She should understand. You had no control over what happened,” I said reassuringly, and squeezed her knee.
“You’re right, you’re right, but I feel like I’m letting her down,” she said, biting her lower lip.
“You’ll be fine; don’t worry about it, eh? Promise me that? You’re already stressed out about enough things. You don’t need one more.”
“OK, I’ll try. Help me out if I start stressing,” she said.
“And how might I go about doing that?” I asked, a smile growing on my face. I had a feeling I knew where this was going. We had pulled into the parking lot of her high school by now and I had just parked before she leaned over the console towards me.
“Oh, I don’t know. Use your imagination,” she said as she kissed me deeply. I kissed her back, hard.
“I think I have an idea of how to do that,” I said, breaking one of the only kisses we had shared in the past few days.
-
Jess’s Point of View
“To the gym?” he asked expectantly after pulling away from one of the best kisses I had experienced in days.
“Of course,” I answered, hopping down out of the SUV and leading him to a door on the side of the school. A huge “Tabb High School” was written on the side of the school, in case anyone forgot where they were. We entered through the doors and walked down a hallway lined with trophies of all shapes and sizes. Some for basketball, some for track, some for baseball; there was a huge variety. Right before the trophies, there were pictures of athletes who had made All-District.
“The best of the Bay Rivers District,” I explained to him as I led him by the hand down the hall.
Sid spotted me up there amongst all of the other elite athletes. My hair was long then, and I had this big silly grin on my face. I looked ridiculous. I dragged him further down the hallway, away from my picture. I led him past all of the trophies and to a pair of double doors which I proceeded to open to a group of girls practicing.
“Jess!” one girl screamed when I walked through the doors. I waved, smiled and proceeded to walk over to my old coach and give her a hug.
“Jess! What a surprise!” she exclaimed. I realized Sid was hanging around the doors and I motioned for him to come over.
“Sid, this is my former coach, Kay Aultman,” I said, beaming for the second time in an hour. “Coach, this is Sidney Crosby.”
Coach raised her eyebrows at him and said, “Well, I always knew Jess would do well for herself, but this is good work on her part.” She was smiling and he laughed good-naturedly as I grabbed his hand.
“So I take it you know who I am?” he asked. He didn’t sound conceited or anything, just curious.
“Of course I know who you are!” she said. “Anyone who follows any sport has heard your name before. So what brings you two back down here to Yorktown? How’s basketball going Jess?”
I shifted my weight back and forth between my feet, favoring my right and said, “Well Coach, I came back down here before I had surgery for my knee.”
Coach’s smile was gone instantaneously and she said, “What happened?”
“I tore my ACL,” I said. Coach didn’t really seem to know how to handle this, so she said, “When’s surgery?”
“The 23rd” I replied.
“Oh, well that’s too bad. I really hope you do well Jess. Do you want to say hi to the girls?”
I felt numb as I nodded my head yes. She was acting like she didn’t care. I wanted at least some sympathy. I was worried she’d be disappointed, not indifferent. I figured she’d at least care that I couldn’t play at all this season, but it seemed like it wasn’t even a concern. Of course it isn’t a concern. You’re not her player anymore. I was pulled out of my thoughts by all of the girls running over and giving me hugs. The ones I didn’t know hung back and waited until everyone else was done. “Rachel, how have you been?!” I asked a little point guard who was now a senior. She was a freshman when I was a junior, and this was basically her team now.
“Good. We’re pretty amazing this year. And you?” she said, with a sideways look at Sid.
“I’ve been good!” I laughed. All of the girls were staring at Sid by now, and I had to admit, he was looking extra good today. “Everyone, this is Sidney, my boyfriend.” Every girl chimed back with a ‘Hi!’ or ‘Hey!’ and a coy smile.
“Where’d you find him?” Rachel whispered in my ear.
“Pittsburgh,” I giggled back. I felt like I was right back here again, practicing and goofing off.
“Wait… Are you Sidney Crosby!?” one girl yelled, dropping the ball she was holding.
“Yes, I am,” Sid answered humbly.
“OH MY GOD! I FREAKING LOVE YOU!” she screamed and ran over to me, still screaming, and asked, “CAN I TOUCH HIM!?”
“Sure, I guess,” I answered, smirking at Sid as this girl clung to him. Rachel informed me her name was Brooke and all she talked about was Sidney Crosby. I was rolling with laughter as Sid, looking uncomfortable, tried to pry her off unsuccessfully. I went over to him and gently peeled the girl’s arms away. I pulled him towards me and he slung his arm around me.
“Well, it was great to see you all! I hope you ladies finish the year out strong! I’ll see you guys around.” And with that, and a wave to Rachel and the rest of the girls, Sid and I walked back out the doors we entered through, back down the hallway and out to the car.
“Why didn’t you tell them you were having surgery?” Sid asked as soon as we got in the car.
“I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want to be disappointed by their reactions,” I said, a little embarrassed.
“That’s perfectly fine, I understand,” he said, picking up on my embarrassment. “Whereto now?” he asked after a slight pause.
I thought about it for a second before saying, “Well, it’s already 12:30, why don’t we go home and brave my mom for lunch?” Sid looked a little unsure of this idea.
“Do we really have to go back home to your mom?” “We’ve got to go home eventually,” I said.
“Or we could get a hotel for a few days,” Sid offered again.
“It’s free to stay with my parents. My mom will come around eventually.”
“Money’s not the issue. I don’t want you to get stressed about nothing before your surgery.”
“It’s not nothing Sid! We’re talking about my mom hating my boyfriend! She has to like you,” I was pleading now. I needed my mom to like him, to reassure me that I was doing the right thing by being with him. A few hours earlier, I didn’t care what she had to say, but now something in my mind told me that without her behind us, this would never work. She’d keep it from working. Sid pulled up to a red light and looked over at me. He leaned over and kissed me quickly before saying, “OK, I’ll trust you.” I smiled at him as he pulled away from the light when it turned green.
“Thank you,” I said to him, my hand now resting in his.